He's going to try and stick a cock in your kids

Dear asshole

2004-04-05T08:12:17Z

Please don't contact me out of the blue to get me to join your pathetic passive-aggressive masturbation circle. If you really want me to join your lame gang, leave a message in my Livejournal. I don't need shit like this cluttering up my inbox. Also: drop dead.

=^_^=

A better than usual meme whatsit. (borrowed from Herc)

2004-02-02T10:16:13Z

Copy this to your own journals, bold the ones you've seen and add five more movies to the end.

1. X-Men
2. The Craft
3. X2
4. Swimfan
5. Fellowship of the Ring
6. Finding Nemo
7. Peter Pan (Disney version)
8. Home Alone
9. Aladdin
10. The Ring
11. 10 Things I Hate About You
12. Not Another Teen Movie
13. Spiceworld
14. 8 Mile
15. Bambi
16. Pirates of the Caribbean
17. Edward Scissorhands
18. Stepmom
19. My Best Friends Wedding
20. 101 Dalmatians (Animated version)
21. Scream
22. Scream 2
23. Scream 3
24. Big Daddy
25. Billy Madison
26. Chamber of Secrets (Harry Potter 1)
27. Sorcerer's Stone (Harry Potter 2)
28. Heartbreakers
29. Dumb & Dumber
30. Cruel Intentions
31. Scary Movie
32. Look Who's Talking
33. Blade
34. Blade II
35. O
36. Titanic (Leonardo DiCaprio version)
37. Carrie
38. Carrie 2: The Rage
39. Daddy Day Care
40. Legally Blonde
41. Austin Powers
42. Storm of the Century
43. Oliver and Company
44. Two Towers
45. Return of the King
46. Mighty Ducks
47. Fast and the Furious
48. 2 Fast, 2 Furious
49. A Walk To Remember
50. Triple X
51. Beauty and the Beast (Disney)
52. I Know What You Did Last Summer
53. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
54. Sound of Music
55. Mary Poppins
56. Tuck Everlasting
57. The Patriot
58. The Wizard of Oz
59. Teaching Mrs. Tingle
60. Crossroads
61. Now and Then
62. Pearl Harbor
63. Just Married
64. Cast Away
65. Radio Flyer
66. Final Destination
67. Lady and the Tramp (Disney)
68. Shallow Hal
69. 40 Days and 40 Nights
70. Bring It On
71. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
72. The Outsiders
73. The Matrix
74. Perfect Storm
75. Austin Powers 2
76. Never Been Kissed
77. Clueless
78. Bruce Almighty
79. Remember the Titans
81. Girl, Interrupted
82. SWAT
83. Sixth Sense
84. PhoneBooth
85. The Lion King
86. Urban Legends
87. Nightflier
88. Lion King 2
89. Little Mermaid
90. American Pie
91. Center Stage
92. Scooby Doo
93. Bedazzled (Dudley Moore version)
94. Mrs. Doubtfire
95. Save the Last Dance
96. My Girl
97. American Beauty
98. Romeo & Juliet (Leonardo DiCaprio verison)
99. Lost World (Jurassic Park 2)
100. Casper
101. Miss Congeniality
102. The Rock
103. Face Off
104. Moulin Rouge (Ewan McGregor version)
105. Sleeping Beauty (Disney)
106. Alien
107. Tombstone
108. Lake Placid
109. The Recruit
110. The Shining
111. Pocahontas (Disney)
112. Win a Date with Tad Hamilton
113. Koyaanisqatsi
114. Princess Mononoke
115. Braveheart
116. Gone with the Wind
117. She's All That
118. Heavy Metal
119. Remo Williams
120. Fried Green Tomatoes
121. Steel Magnolias
122. Fight Club
123. Star Wars (A New Hope)
124. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
125. Toy Soldiers
126. Clerks
127. Magnolia
128. Wild Things
129. The Nightmare Before Christmas
130. What Dreams May Come
131. Fierce Creatures
132. Frequency
133. The Others
134. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
135. Along Came A Spider
136. Annie (1982 version)
137. Eyes Wide Shut
138. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
139. Practical Magic
140. Down With Love
141. The Fifth Element
142. Donnie Darko
143. Kiki's Delivery Service
144. Big Fish
145. Chasing Amy
146. Unbearable Lightness of Being
147. Parent Trap
148. Great Expectations
149. Bridges of Madison County
150. I am Sam
151. Life as a House
152. Prince of Tides
153. Kill Bill Vol. 1
154. Bowling For Columbine
155. Elf
156. Spun
157. Weekend at Bernie's
158. The House of Mirth
159. The Rose
160. Chocolat
161. Requiem for a Dream
162. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
163. Mask (the one with Cher)
164. Gia
165. Secretary
166. The Big Lebowski
167. Rushmore
168. Return to Me
169. Muppets Take Manhattan
170. The X-Files: Fight The Future
171. Moonstruck
172. Happy Gilmore
173. Mona Lisa Smile
174. Bad Boys
175. Bad Boys 2
176. The Delta Force
177. A League of Their Own
178. Murder by Death
179. The Hot Chick
180. Shrek
181. Groundhog Day
182. Liar Liar
183. House of Sand & Fog
184. Adventures in Babysitting
185. Monty Python & the Holy Grail
186. Hedwig & the Angry Inch
187. As Good As It Gets
188. Murder By Numbers
189. The Unsaid
190. 12 Monkeys
191. Igby Goes Down
192. The Mummy (Brendan Frasier version)
193. The New Guy
194. Girl
195. And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself
196. Valentine
197. Wag the Dog
198. Spirited Away
199. Almost Famous
200. The Royal Tennenbaums
201. Citizen Kane
202. Lost In Translation
203. Sid and Nancy
204. Empire Records
205. Suspiria
206. Niagara Niagara
207. Sweethearts
208. Dead Man Walking
209. My Dog Skip
210. American History X
211. Minority Report
212. Spaceballs
213. The Last of the Mohicans
214. The Mysts of Avalon (TV version)
215. The Horseman on the Roof
216. The Birdcage
217. Peter Pan (2003)
218. The Butterfly Effect
219. Paycheck
220. The Core
221. Thir13en Ghosts
222. House on Haunted Hill (1999 version)
223. Love Actually
224. Something About Mary
225. Good Will Hunting
226. Adaptation
227. Labyrinth
228. Disney's Alice in Wonderland
229. Amilie (AKA Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le)
230. May
231. If These Walls Could Talk 2
232. Mulholland Dr.
233. Tortilla Soup
244. Chicago
245. Trainspotting
246. Grumpy Old Men
247. The Ballad of Gregorio Cortez
248. Wings of the Dove
249. Don Juan De Marco
250. The Hobbit (animated)
251. FeardotCom
252. The War
253. A Beautiful Mind
254. Scent of a Woman
255. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
256. Newsies
257. Runaway Jury
258. Body Heat
259. The In-Laws
260. Monsters Inc.
261. Vanilla Sky
262. Wonder Boys
263. The Crow
264. Dark City
265. Natural Born Killers
266. Sleepers
267. The Silence of the Lambs
268. Hannibal
269. Red Dragon
270. Manhunter
271. The Crow: City of Angels
272. Toy Story
273. Bend It Like Beckham
274. Fly Away Home
275. Twister
276. Jurassic Park
277. The Matrix Reloaded
278. The Matrix Revolutions
279. Pulp Fiction
280. A.I.
281. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
282. Reservoir Dogs
283. Lola Rennt (AKA Run Lola Run)
284. Punch-Drunk Love
285. Ichi the Killer
286. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
287. The Happiness of the Katakuris (AKA Katakuri-ke no kôfuku)
288. Taxi Driver
289. Blue Velvet
230. Once Upon a Time in the West
231. The City of Lost Children (AKA Cité des enfants perdus, La)

Oh yeah, the Jews all complain about how THEY have it hard

2004-01-21T01:01:50Z

But look what they did to us!

MERRY CHRISTINGMASS

2003-12-25T15:04:18Z

I got a whole load of shit, including Pirates of the Caribbean DVD, Jimi Hendrix CDs and JAM <3

Here's something from IRC that I wanted to use in Bencomic but was too big :(

(nondescript> WOW
(nondescript> FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT THERE WASN'T A NODE ON ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS
(nondescript> THEN I TOOK OUT THE HYPHENS
(Funk> WOW
(Funk> FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING INTERESTING
(Funk> THEN I READ IT
(nondescript> WOW
(nondescript> FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT I HAD SOMETHING WITTY TO SAY
(nondescript> THEN I ADDED IN A THIRD LINE FOR SYMMETRY

when nigger does go by car?

2003-11-09T19:38:10Z

when nigger does go by car?

when does go with vehicle of the police

Wild, I'm beginning to suspect that you're Grant Morrison...

2003-09-21T17:09:34Z

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-cut="picture>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<lj-cut="Picture inside"><img src="http://zzt.the-underdogs.org/funk/sebastiano.jpg"></lj-cut>

ZZTers turning Invisible?

2003-08-19T18:12:01Z

Taken from "The Invisibles: Say You Want a Revolution"

Who's birthday is it?

2003-06-23T07:07:15Z

Mine! 21 today!

OHH GOD. D:

http://chilled.cream.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=13891

2003-04-26T11:04:56Z

The dreams in which I'm dying... kind of suck.

2003-04-01T23:25:55Z

Luckily that wasn't the kind of dream I had last night! No sir - instead, I dreamed that I was having a snowball fight with Laurel and Hardy in some dark and snowy street, under the gaze of looming gothic architecture. It wasn't as creepy as it sounds, because the cramped space just made things feel cosy rather than claustrophobic.

So we snowballed for a little while (Ollie was a good shot, from what I recall) then I came across a carved stone tablet set into a small dais. I read the four or so lines on that tablet, noting that the poem (for I think it was such) was witty and erudite, and might possibly have made the basis of a good story. I began to realise that I was in a dream - though not to the extent that I could be arsed to control anything - and congratulated myself on having come up with something so pithy. I resumed snowballing, telling myself to write down the words on the tablet when I got up the following morning.

When I awoke, I remembered exactly what was on the dial but couldn't be arsed to get out of bed. Now it's melted away altogether.

Somewhere, Neil Gaiman is laughing manaiacally. The absolute bastard.

www.jutl.com is sex

2003-03-06T11:13:04Z

Hans Blix has just given his opinion of Iraq's cooperation with his arms inspectors. The BBC website for the UK headlined the news item: "Banned weapons 'unaccounted for'". The Swedish language BBC News site titled the same story: "No Weapons of Mass Destruction Found"...
French post-structuralists have used the last Gulf War as an example of the fakeness of contemporary events. In history lessons at school, the past comes to us in labelled packages, merit modules, key-stage x fact-packs. The significance of the abdication crisis, or the Danelaw, are pre-processed and served up as side-orders of meaning, alongside the bare facts and pictures of ancient artifacts. We get used to this diet of meaning-supplements, and we expect to get them from every source of information. One of the oldest adages in television production is:

"Tell them what they are going to see, then tell them what they are seeing, then tell them what they have just seen."

Pictures of other people, and places we've never seen, come with a dressing of pertinent facts, and appropriate music. In this way a street scene in Thailand can illustrate the horror of the child-sex industry, or the exotic beauty of a Thai holiday...

This all came about, I reckon, because of democracy. Previously you did the bidding of whoever could make your life most miserable. There were no politics, and no spin, because no-one really gives a toss what the terrified and the subjugated think.

Then - Progress. The idea that money and parentage dictated fitness to rule went out of fashion. The final Russian Royal family, the Romanovs, tried to adapt to the impending democratisation - they accepted the principle that the people's will needed to be taken into account. We know this because they were among the first practitioners of modern spin. Faced with a country full of itchy anti-monarchists, they decided to locate a scapegoat. Sticking with tradition, they selected the Jews. The Tsar's secret police created a document, a 'smoking gun', to allow the anger of the people to be diverted onto the selected targets. They faked up a book which was supposedly an account of the meetings of a Jewish secret 'Cabal'. They called it The Protocols of The Elders of Zion, and it did really hit the spot. Unfortunately, it didn't do it immediately. The people rose up anyway, and the Romanovs were treated to some egalitarian education in the basement of their summer house (the bodies were dumped down a nearby mineshaft, closely followed by some grenades). But... the book lived on. It became one of the founding documents of eliminationist anti-semitism, which in turn... anyway...

We get used to these meaning injections, and we begin to expect them. If you and I were discussing this over the well in a medieval village, I can assure you we would have a firm grasp of the relevant issues of the day, such as which nearby villages had plague, which woodland was home to man-eating wolf-packs, and how to make a meal out of a handful of mouldy corn. But back here in the C21st, the issues of the day not only gigantic and complex, but also fucking boring in comparison to the Gamecube and that new DVD with the bloke with the perfect face and the woman with the fantasic arse.

"What does it all mean, boy?"

"Don't know sir. Can't you just tell us?"

So we have the power to vote out our government. We, as a group of unarmed people, have control of the army, which is essentially a gigantic gun with idiots attached. We also have the power to turn off CNN if it offendeth us, and choose another menu of metadata and explanation. Aren't we free?

Maybe. I just don't feel free. This war is either totally justified, or a gigantic fraud. Pick your explanation from the commentary smorgasbord, then move towards the consumption area. Choose the Axis of Evil or the Godless West. Just, whatever you do, don't think for yourself. We have a guy who does that now.

Help me get MAME working polease gents!

2003-02-24T13:34:58Z

Well not so much MAME as Metal Slug. See, I have MAME32 and it's all working groovily except for Metal Slug 1, 2 and X, and Sunset Riders. I can only play them for a little bit before it crashes out with an exception. Any idea what the problem could be?

Okay gents I need to find a good deal on PS2s

2003-02-23T18:01:12Z

As I now have a job (more on that later, unless I can't be bothered), I've decided to get a PS2. Where can I get the dandiest deal? I'd prefer less than £150, and I'm sure there's somewhere on the net that'll do it. Give me a hand PLZ!

When I try to go to z2 it gives me this message:

2003-02-12T10:53:55Z

phpBB : Critical Error

Could not obtain lastvisit data from user table

After directing me to this page: http://zzt.the-underdogs.org/fora/setuser.php

WTF?

OMG!!!! KAWAII =^_^=

2003-02-06T00:39:14Z

Hoeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

You're a Magical Girl!

You're sugar-hyped, caffeine-hyped, and permanently genki-er than a whole busload of Disney characters on crack. You eat too much, you're a total klutz, and somehow this makes you an ideal candidate for saving the world. If you're really unlucky, you get to get naked in an embarrassing transformation sequence in every single episode, with only a few sparkles and pastel blobs to cover your dignity.

Which generic anime character are you?

Christopher Morris is sending me pornography

2003-01-18T12:10:45Z

I just got five consecutive porn e-mails, all from people with the most delightfully stupid names:

Provent Tabin
Rabbe Griebling
Marlena Edris
Hanifan Toepel
Quashie Stealy

BOOM

2003-01-01T16:47:57Z

Happy New Year to all of you goons! My head hurts :(

Going home today!

2002-12-24T10:03:21Z

Which means I'll be online even less than I have been lately (that is, not at all).

Merry Crismis and a Happy New Year to you all, except the idiots.

As we all knew:

2002-12-05T11:32:09Z

http://www.googlefight.com/cgi-bin/compare.pl?q1=zamros&q2=the+black+magic+shitstains&B1=Make+a+fight%21&compare=1&langue=us

Think of the Musicians!

2002-12-03T11:24:20Z

Thanks to Ryo for this link: http://www.musicunited.org/

_______________________________________________________________________________________
The Barenaked Ladies, One of the Best-Selling Canadian Bands Of All Time: "When the Gap went online, T-shirts didn't become free."

Because other, similar T-shirts of equal or better quality were available for much less, BOZOS.
________________________________________________________________________________________

"3. Stealing music stifles the careers of new artists and up-and-coming bands. Another rationalization for stealing music is that illegal copying is a victimless crime that really doesn’t hurt anyone.
Tell that to the struggling young musicians in a garage band who can’t get signed because record sales are down."

Nevermind all of the small indie labels that have died because they couldn't compete for shelf space with the multinational music corporations, or were bought up and now exist only as appendages of a larger corporation. Fuck it, if we cause recession in the music industry maybe music will no longer be such SHIT.
________________________________________________________________________________________

"It’s about putting food on the table and covering the rent."

Serves you right for buying a $500,000 house then doesn't it?
________________________________________________________________________________________

Scott Stapp, Frontman and Songwriter for Creed: "These file sharing services are sneaking in the back door and robbing me blind."

GOOD.
________________________________________________________________________________________

Eminem, Grammy Award Winning Rapper: "If you can afford a computer, you can afford to pay $16 for my CD."

Then make music that's WORTH $16 you greedy fuck.
________________________________________________________________________________________

Carl Sturken & Evan Rogers, Grammy-Award Winning Songwriters/Producers: "Most of the teenagers we know today are far more interested in buying a CD burner and downloading whatever music they want for free. We think that pretty much says it all."

Why don't you think of the boost they're giving to the CD-writer and blank CD industries? Hypocrites.
________________________________________________________________________________________

Mark Knopfler, Member of Dire Straits: "You might as well walk into a record store, put the CD's in your pocket and walk out without paying for them."

Kids! Go ahead and tell them Mark from Dire Straits told you to do it. What? Oh don't worry, your parents will know who he is.

But seriously, Mark's jst saying that because he sells about ten CDs a year and you stealing them probably wouldn't make that much of an impact on his income anyway.
________________________________________________________________________________________

John Rzeznik, Member of the Multi-Platinum Award Winning Group, the Goo Goo Dolls: "If you rob artists of their means of earning, eventually there will be no art of consequence or substance."

Two points -

1: Current big sellers like Brittney Spears, Shakira and Clitring Aguilera would lead me to conclude that much of the music produced these days is of little consequence anyway.
2: You're in the GOO GOO DOLLS. What the fuck would you know about art of substance?

So to conclude:

America, land of the free!

2002-12-02T15:45:12Z

http://www.austin360.com/aas/news/ap/ap_story.html/Washington/AP.V3865.AP-Scotus-Sodomy.html

WASHINGTON (AP)--The Supreme Court said Monday it would consider whether states can punish homosexuals for having sex, a case that tests the constitutionality of sodomy laws in 13 states.

The justices will review the prosecution of two men under a 28-year-old Texas law making it a crime to engage in same-sex intercourse.

The Supreme Court has struggled with how much protection the Constitution offers in the bedroom. The court ruled 5-4 in 1986 that consenting adults have no constitutional right to private homosexual sex, upholding laws that ban sodomy.

A NEW DOPE

2002-11-20T21:58:49Z

Apparently...

2002-11-13T15:46:22Z

I am Sonic the Hedgehog.

I am the life of the party. If there isn't a party going on, there's going to be one as soon as I get there. Life is a stage to me, and I'm on every one. Carefree and sometimes wild, my sense of humor and natural good looks make me the center of attention. Unfortunately, that means there are forces who want to knock me down a peg, so I tend to watch my spiny back. What Video Game Character Are You?

Excellent. Looking through the other available results, I've found some familiar faces:

MadTom

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] square".">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<TABLE BORDER=0><TR><TD>
<A HREF="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital.pl"><IMG BORDER=0 ALIGN="LEFT" WIDTH=100 HEIGHT=100 SRC="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital/18.gif" ALT="What Video Game Character Are You? I am Sonic the Hedgehog." /></A>I am <B>Sonic the Hedgehog</B>.<BR /><BR />
I am the life of the party. If there isn't a party going on, there's going to be one as soon as I get there. Life is a stage to me, and I'm on every one. Carefree and sometimes wild, my sense of humor and natural good looks make me the center of attention. Unfortunately, that means there are forces who want to knock me down a peg, so I tend to watch my spiny back. <A HREF="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital.pl">What Video Game Character Are You?</A>
</TD></TR></TABLE>

Excellent. Looking through the other available results, I've found some familiar faces:

<b>MadTom</b>
<TABLE BORDER=0><TR><TD>
<A HREF="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital.pl"><IMG BORDER=0 ALIGN="LEFT" WIDTH=100 HEIGHT=100 SRC="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital/1.gif" ALT="What Video Game Character Are You? I am the Adventure "Square"." /></A>I am the <B>Adventure "Square"</B>.<BR /><BR />
As it happens, I'm no "square" at all. I am versatile and handy, able to simultaneously manage a wide variety of tasks and goals. I'm trustworthy and community-minded, too. I'd have no problem with personally taking out the neighborhood thugs if I were asked to. Hey, I may not be the snappiest dresser but looks can be deceiving. <A HREF="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital.pl">What Video Game Character Are You?</A>
</TD></TR></TABLE>

<b>Fishfood</B>
<TABLE BORDER=0><TR><TD>
<A HREF="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital.pl"><IMG BORDER=0 ALIGN="LEFT" WIDTH=100 HEIGHT=100 SRC="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital/20.gif" ALT="What Video Game Character Are You? I am Wario." /></A>I am <B>Wario</B>.<BR /><BR />
Misunderstood genius or nefarious villian? No one really knows for sure except me. And the reason why I know is because I'm much smarter than you are, and have no problem telling you that. If I'm ever going to fail it's going to be some kind of a fluke, because my planning and desire is second to none. <A HREF="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital.pl">What Video Game Character Are You?</A>
</TD></TR></TABLE>

and <b>Donut</b>
<TABLE BORDER=0><TR><TD>
<A HREF="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital.pl"><IMG BORDER=0 ALIGN="LEFT" WIDTH=100 HEIGHT=100 SRC="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital/9.gif" ALT="What Video Game Character Are You? I am the Kaboom Bomber." /></A>I am the <B>Kaboom Bomber</B>.<BR /><BR />
Am I dangerous or just starved for attention? Figure it out for yourself. I like to keep people on their toes and will go to great lengths to watch `em scatter. Rather than dealing with my issues I choose to take it out on the world around me. I know I can't go on like this for long. There are only so many bombs in the world, and lots of people with buckets looking to end my career. <A HREF="http://www.digitpress.com/quiz/digital.pl">What Video Game Character Are You?</A>
</TD></TR></TABLE>

Best. Comic. Ever.

2002-11-07T20:35:17Z

FEAR ---|--------------------------- LOVE

2002-11-04T22:56:42Z